precious little. 

may you never know

in your sweetest life

how much i cry

while laying next to you…

and how I quiet the sobs

and pray you don’t wake up

from the motion of

my shaking form..

and hold my fists

around my heart

so it can keep beating 

just for you.

and how i turn

if ever you do, 

so what you know

is smiling eyes..

and i hide away

in melted form

a huddled mess

of shame,

 dare you see

more than i’m sure

your little heart



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all my eggs in no ones basket

i know theres no answer

and i’m still just me

shrunken in time

by that boundless clock

where nature holds

all the keys

and dreams i never had

melt slowly away


by bit

by bit

by bit.

and i,

am still.

just me.


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locked out

i need nothing

from you or from 


except occasionally,

i may need some nothing. 

and that, i can get. 


and without reproach. 

and that, 

may just be


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forever gone. 

cause it’s gonna be like this 


only further 

and more final. 

and painful,

and firm. 

as are all deaths. 

only this one,

will be 

that much worse,

cause we’ll be breathing 

each other’s air..

and in each breath 

there’ll be a small droplet 

of what will never be. 

and for that,

i mourn


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Frankly my dear 

dip myself back

into that bottle 

to find the solace

you can’t provide. 

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naked truth. 

go away from me


stop your judging

of who i am

and how i came

to be. 

and keep your voice down. 

i hear you anyway,

loud and clear,

how im everything wrong

and bad

and not good enough

and never would be,

i know.

i know it!

you need not yell it at me. 

please don’t yell it at me. 

cause i die a little

each time 

the volume gets raised.

and if you knew anything 

about me,

at all,

you would know that. 

just be quiet. 

it’s all just so perfectly 



that’s all. 

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jezebels curse

for all the great

destruction ive caused

in those time bound moments

of awe,

where holy waters

are muddied with sin

and princes trade crowns

in for ash..

where shackles were tightened

and bibles were burned

and hopes were tossed violently

to pyre

lay the once beautiful form

of eternal pure soul

in a heap burnt in hell

by these hands.

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