scared of myself, of who i am,
of what i think and feel,
knowing that i am frightened but true
and painfully, hurtfully real.
i just dont fit in, im built all wrong,
dont have what it takes at all,
not an x or a y, i havnt a tag,
i think i just missed my call.
i want to hold on, hold close, hold tight,
want to have and be had,
it’s just when i try, i bungle it up,
so tight and lonely and sad.
so screaming through pain and wanting so hard,
i head out into the sea,
in search of a salve to spread on these wounds
of the ever elusive, real me.