want not

stay away, just stay away, dont give in to the pull. gripping and tugging, i know what i want, it just seems too dangerous to try. stuck in this box of endless needs, never being fulfilled. knowing i hunger and cant feed myself is a torture all on its own.  i want so badly to take what i want and end this miserable drought. ill get caught up though, and whos there at the end whomever will warm me then? if it all goes to hell and im left all alone, holding a shredded heart? then what do i do, when im the owner of feelings i never wanted.  i just cant do it, its as simple as that, its why i am so hard. needing to be impenetrable, untraceable, uncatchable and unknown, cause what i really want scares the hell out of me, oh g-d, i just dont want to want.

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