nothing

im just such a mess 

and i seem to be unraveling 

from my very core

and the thing is-

i have no idea

where the end

of that darn piece of thread is

or for that matter 

where the beginning 

might be….

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remind me?

i can barely breathe. 

and i’m not sure 

if i’m just not remembering right,

or if i simply left it all

with you. 

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Look. Don’t touch. 

For all i see

there’s an endless amount 

i’m simply not allowed 

to feel. 

and for all i feel,

there’s an eternity 

i will never get

to see. 

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self aware. 

if today would just end

in its never ending

cycle

of pain and disappointment 

and frightening neglect,

perhaps then,

i’d not be

jealous 

of the dead. 

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go team. 

it’s all just the same mirage

and farce

it’s been. 

just different players 

in the same easy venue.  

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all the Kings horses

it all just needs to end. 

cause it’s impossible. 

and the thought of anything else

is killing me

with its false breath

of possibility..

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one shovel full at a time. 

it’s just all gonna stop.

working one day. 

between the pain

and 

the mockery,

lies a ditch,

waiting to hold the body,

of soul,

that just couldn’t 

find the strength 

to breathe 

anymore. 

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