you can’t take it all. i beg of you.

im just in pain.

always. 

there’s no break

ever. 

it’s like time goes by 

and I think ill be ok

and I barely am..

just holding on..

and then you waltz in

in your dumb doubtless way

and pull that rug right out.

in a moment of perfection

for you

and near death for me/

and i back up slowly 

and stare at the floor 

where my bones

and my breath

and my life

are splayed out

in a vapid pool

of never had,

in a sea of toxic

never will,

and i watch

from the side

as my soul

gets crushed

just

a little:

just 

a

little,,,

more. 

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measure this. 

desperate for

salvations love

in all its magic

ways,

in north meets south

smoothe symmetry 

aligned 

in shortened days..

where hands get held

and mouths get kissed

and maybe hearts 

can heal,

in pure elastic

tightened truth

where once at last

its real. 

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culminate 

in folds of barely 

wanting

silk

i flood at thought

of you

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unpaletteable  

in droplets of color

i find my despair

and in drops of you

i see nothing but grey. 

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challenge the world~~

feel my feet rubbing up against your legs?

my ass pressed against your middle?

arms entwined in lucid perfection of a love only known to few?

yea?

yea, 

yeah,,

that. could be,

Us. 

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caps for sale

what’s it worth 

huh?

all the truth and the lies,

now melded into

one great lord

of the flies,

in the great must

of god 

and his colors

and wins-

lay the ones

we don’t like

in the heyday of

sins,,

for the better of life-

where the outcome of all,

seems to shrink

down to those

who laugh at who

falls..

then snivel in wealth

beneath 

spoiled burnt sun..

in the absence

of light

at behest of the “one”,

they’ll grow that now too

and tell us it’s life

for the fabled famed

few,

who wield 

satans knife,,

and charge us a million

then take it all back

steal us our strength

peeking through 

leaking  sacks,,

and burn down our trees

in the gardens we grow

heap up the hype 

using leaves as their show.

yet covered in weeds 

still insisting on breath

we hold onto hands

but thrice taken

by death,

in rainbows of hearts

and mysterious brains

where they said it’d wilt

in infertile rains;

now stand strong 

in their mud

not their ground 

nor there slaves 

gently whispering 

Love

laying plants 

on their graves. 

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snufflefuckagus 

and if the fucking

words cannot

describe

all my intent-

or what I feel 

in pages lost

of soured days

ive spent,

to see your face

in scowling ire

of ever pounding

greed-

and still I lay

beneath your toe

dead deep in thought

and deed. 

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